People still come to me for advices.. I wonder why.

If they only knew that I struggle to solve my own issues sometimes...

Still, I love to advice them and tell them what I think. Tell them how things should be. How everything could actually work out.

I put on my best smile and support them. Even though inside I am in need of major support myself. A shoulder to cry on. But I just can't turn my back to their problems. Or I just can't start speaking about myself when they need me solid and unbreakable.

I swallow my tears and make them turn into strength.

I bite my nails to not let them notice I am weak too.

As my grandma used to say " what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger."... How I miss you now grandma.. I wish I could sit on your lap again and cry my heart out while you caress my hair and tell me everything is gonna be alright. Why did you have to leave so soon... I still remember how you used to smell. I still know how my tiny hand would fit on yours. I still think about you everyday. I still shiver when I wonder where you are and if you are proud of me.

One more tea in your old kitchen listening to your favourite radio station and all my fears would fade away...