More than one year later... I've decided to come around again.
This might be my last entry.
For two years and a half I didn't move on. I simply didn't. I don't know why or why not but I am still here making the effort, putting my heart on a plate and it seems like nothing changed.
I am tired.
I wish it could be noticed that I am slowly giving up. Not because love is gone but because it is being killed. When they say Love is like a flower that you need to take care and make it grow, gosh (!!) it is true! I am not much into cliché and pre made sentences but yeah.. if you don't take care, you lose.
It's sad to see two people falling apart, specially when they have feelings for each other.
It's sad to see a great thing going to waste..
I ain't pulling it harder.. I am just gonna let it be.
What makes us People, is our everyday life, the way we act, what we choose to do.. if we keep failing on sharing that, then we will lose it all.
Words are just words... and actions speak way louder than words.
I am afraid to let all this feelings go away, afraid to never see you again.. but I am tired of giving everything and getting nothing in return. I am human... I have feelings too.
For this Christmas... I wish you would care.

Love,

Mia.

It does hurt when you push me away.
One cannot Love for two and doesn't have to.
It seems like you take me for granted and doesn't matter if what you say or do make me reach the bottom because when you need me I will be there.
When you love, you are supposed to share the good and the bad. You are not supposed to walk away, to not answer, to pretend that you are not there.
I am not the drama queen I used to be but I still have feelings. And my heart is still on my sleeve, so easy to break.
xo



-Mia

Brilho nos olhos, borboletas na barriga.. sorriso nos lábios...
Paixão, apetece-me.

Quando achas que tens todas as respostas...a vida trata de mudar todas as perguntas.
Ama.
Vive.
Não tenhas medo de ti.
Sê melhor.
Hoje.
*
Marina.

When something emotionally strong happens, it is time to re-think.

Life is the greatest value you will ever have, so take care of it.

Don't lose too much time getting mad over silly things and take the best you can of it.

After this..

...

Trying, Fighting, Don't give up..
It really makes sense to me.. but sometimes you reach a poit where you find useless to keep trying.
You tried, tried, tried.. and you still fail.. don't you think it's better to move on?
I tried my best... but I am tired and I need to cut the attachments, to set free.
I am gonna keep busy 24/7 and not think about this... no more trying.
The ball is on your side of the court. Make it happen.

I guess an image can tell a thousand words and this pic can yell how I feel.
Summer, sunny days, iced drinks, amazing people, smiles, feet on the sand, sea, late cinema sessions.... make me smile. :)
Sometimes life is more than I could ever ask for and I am thankful for that!
I can tell I am enjoying as much as I can.
I can talk past things over and over without being mad, just accepting the fact that it is done and gone. I am able to hear until the end without shout and that is an improvement. haha

I am quite happy..
Of course that is a few things I would like to fix but I know time will heal.
Love,
Mia

love

Free.

It takes me ages to update now.. well, i am feeling great! I just wish some people would understand that less is more. I learnt that in a bad away but it really makes sense now. :)

Time

Space.

I won't post till my birthday pass by.

Everything passes by so fast.. but I still want to believe our Love was built to last.

I have been reading and writing a lot lately. Just like how it used to be.

I found myself reading and comparing the feelings and experiences with my own.

I have never been an easy person, and it feels good to compare the who I was with the who I am. I am not perfect, and I don't know why people assume that I come from the perfect family and that I am spoiled. Ok, they spoil me a bit because I am the only child but it is a regular family, with happy times, sad times, problems, arguments..

I feel fear free. I say what I have to say, I do what I have to do.. I still hesitate sometimes, but I end up doing it my way.

I feel better, happier, healthier, and things look much brighter. :)

I am not taking everything so serious as I used to but I still let my heart ache over silly things.. I am improving but I haven't fixed it yet.

There's a few faces I would like to see at the moment. There is a few places I have in mind to visit. No major plans, just wishes. :) Life takes its way and give me what it has to give according to the way I lead it.

I follow no religion but my own heart and I still think a flower given from the heart means more than all the things money can buy.

I am still me, just learnt too much to behave as before.

I am facing facts, and I know that I have grown up. It is hard for me to leave things and people behind. It is hard to give up on them, but it feels weird to lose balance and don't know if you are fighting for a lost cause or not.

Love.

Mia

x

Everything is gonna be OK in the end. If it's not OK , then it's not the end.

I realised I start most of my sentences with "I feel.." instead of "I think.."..

Heart over Mind.

Here I am again.. I haven't been much of a blogger but I feel like writing something now..

Sometimes I think words are just words. I know they are simply words but they have meanings. I don't intend to use words just because, I really try to stick to their meaning as much as possible.

I feel like words like Love and Hate should be used sincerily only when added to an attitude that makes the words true. Everything seems so prosaic and dull. Sometimes I realise that feelings are just words, and words are empty of meaning so feelings have no meaning at all. Everything is so made up nowadays. There is only a few genuine people and those are the ones to keep.

“Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold...”.

I am a bit empty of words.
I will keep my sentences short and simple.
There are a lot of things happening at the moment. Good and bad.
I get back to work tomorrow.
I am putting the best of myself in each little thing I do.
I wake up in the morning feeling that it is gonna be a good day and I don't let anything ruin it.
I am living easily.
I am trying hard to be with all my friends as much as I can.
I am saying all I have to say with no fear of sounding ridiculous.
I am scared to know that I can be ill.

It felt good to walk on the beach today.. It was windy but warm and cleared my mind.
The sea was calm, there was only a few people fishing..
It makes me feel good and brings my feet back on the ground.
I might go again tomorrow.
xo

(more to be uploaded as soon a I stop being a lazy ass)


Una y Otra Vez.
Madrid, once again. Such a lovely trip. :)
Even though we haven't slept more than 2 hours each night we spent there, we had an amazing time. It was good to re-visit the places and feel Madrid again.
Rome and Amsterdam are on my plans for the next trips.. let's see when. September might be a guess. :)
I realised how much people change and how much people can lose themelves for material stuff. But I dont't even want to get started about it..
Sunshine is visiting Portugal once again and it makes me smile. I hope it will last.
xo

Ok, I try my best to be a better person and I love people. That's a fact! But I am not a fool. I know when people lie, and sometimes I don't even say a word about it... I just sit and wait. Sooner or later you'll know that I know... Karma is a bitch.

Good morning!!!:)

It's late. I am taking my daily 15 minutes to rewind my day, drinking my tea and I decided that THIS IS IT! I am starting over. No more excuses for not letting it go, no more trying to fix it, no more chosing the right words.
For fuck's sake. I am Me! Cope with that.
I loved you for real, like no one else ever will, trust me. But It is fucking enough!! I gave everything I had, I gave everthing I am, but I can't go on!
Over. And out!
x
I will get over it!

It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will
Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you can't stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
This is crazy
I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will
Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me
There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me
Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me
Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me

She is nothing but a leather jacket.

I don't care how this sounds. It might be blah blah fucking blah for some ears but it is not for mine. My world is full of good things, it is true that I am searching for new and exciting things all the time but I value the ones I have. And I want to keep those. I am growing so much as a person everyday and today when I rewinded some past situations with my cousin who is back from London for a few days, I realised how mature I can be even though I am a child at heart.

I am thankful for everything I have been through... some made me suffer and hurt deep but made me learn and act/think different. I just need to relax towards some subjects but I am on the good way. :) I won't let it rain on my sunshine!

Peace out.

x

I'm sorry, I can't go on!

You don't care. Fine. Then I won't care!

E N O U G H!

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't even be sorry.

I am Loving the first days of Sun!

Truth is, everybody's going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones who are worth suffering for. - Bob Marley

Gooooood morniiiing sunshine!:)

I am a bit tired so I am letting go.

(Turns out I am going to Zara way too often!!!!

...I'm usually not much into this type of photo editing but I kinda like this one..)

It's sweet the fact that the sun came out exactly on my day off. :)

Time and people are making me realize how things come and go, how it is important to keep your feet on the ground and base your life on what really matters, on what you build and keep forever like felings, relationships, values...

Memories are just memories and they can't bring back the things you let go.

I'm becoming more tolerant with people. Everyone is different and we have so much to learn from those differences. I believe that my past mistakes will be forgiven and maybe forgotten if I am better here and now.

Smile, it is a beautiful day!

x